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Hello,

This is my very first actual blog post, so it probably will not be that good. Coming from a perfectionist that was quite hard to say, nevertheless, it is true. Learning to cope with imperfection is something I need to work on, but back to the point, the new year.

I've suffered much loss over the past year, but I am grateful for it, for if there's one big thing I learned this year is that people are meant to continually grow. You will meet amazing people, but they will live stagnant lives convinced that things will never change and accepting the fate that has befallen them. These are not people to cut out of your lives, but definitely not people to learn from. I once captioned an instagram post with the words "embrace that which you cannot change, and change that which you cannot embrace", and I still live by it. To embrace the things in your life which you have no control over, such as the weather or the way other people choose to act, is a skill that not many have learned. Although, it is something that can reduce the negativity in your life, what is the point of being angry over something you cannot change. Having said this, we are only human, and anger is not avoidable. My point is that is important to be conscious. To change what you cannot embrace, is simply to change the parts of you or your life that you do have control over, and are unhappy with. If anyone needs to learn these lessons, it's me. I know it sounds weird to say that, but it's true. I have the wisdom, and now it is time to start trying to implement it. Again, to be conscious, not only of who I am, but how I choose to act.

As for the loss i've suffered this year, it has taught me much about life and myself. My best friend moved away to another country, which taught me that true friendship does not fade with distance, albeit it is still heart-wrenchingly difficult. My cat Bubba of 8 years got hit by a car, and sadly passed away. This taught me that it is okay to break down, it is okay to be sad over the loss of a great friend (pet). And it is definitely okay to say that you need time away from the daily routine to cope with this loss, to grieve. My biggest lesson came from my very first breakup. I have always believed in the power of love, and that did not lessen, rather it changed. I learned that love cannot cure all, but it can conquer all. If you choose to love someone, and they choose to love you back, it does not cure/fix all of your problems, however, it does give you a person to conquer or walk through those problems with. Love is not just an emotion, it is also a choice. I learned that when looking for a lifelong partner you need to look for the person that chooses you everyday, and that you are also willing to choose everyday. Through the arguments, difficult times, happy memories, calm nights together, through everything. Someone who no matter what will always say yes, I choose you. This does not mean they will have no doubts, coming from someone with a lot of doubt I can say that you can doubt something but still choose it. If someone is not willing to make that choice everyday, then they are not someone you should be in a relationship with. I will say it again because I believe it so strongly, LOVE is not just an emotion, it is a CHOICE.

So, in this new year, I will not set any goals, I am not even saying that I am committing to this blog because concrete goals are bound to disappoint, especially coming from someone who sets much too difficult standards for myself. No, in this new year I will strive to be a better person, to broaden my perspectives, to continue to do the things I love. Most importantly, I will strive to change, to not stay a stagnant being, to allow myself to GROW.

Until next time, much love,

Kaitlin